Cheering squad and blues!

You wake up in the wee hours of the morning because you have to be at the aid station at a race  5 am to cheer for your running buddies . A few amazing friends join you in the effort and we have a really good time at work.The entire race energy is infectious.

Some of us were volunteering at the aid station because we are nursing running injuries and could not afford to run,some of us just chose not to run this race. But we were there today solely because we love running and  did not want to miss out the opportunity to feel the energy of a most talked about race in town.

I am glad I did not spend my Sunday morning sleeping,I am glad I was out there.It was a great experience.I actually shouted myself hoarse and my hands hurt from all the clapping! I am happy I knew so many of the runners and could call out their names and cheer for them.The smiles and thumbs up we got in return from them were priceless.

Having run a bit myself,I know it feels great when someone calls out your name and cheers for you while you are racing ,be it against time, distance or yourself! So it was good to be on the other side and cheering today!!!

Having said that,I'm back home and I realise all over again “damn,I miss running L”.I promised not to mope over this in public or in private but “Hell,I feel really sorry for myself L;I want to run too- yesterday,today,tomorrow-soon!!!” You can’t wring the honesty out of me just because I want the world to think I'm okay. I'm NOT okay! I want recovery and rehab period over!!

Anyways, I have tried hard to snap out of my misery and catch a nap ever since I got back home-all in vain!

I finally made a SOS call to a pal to accompany me for an afternoon ride.Off I go-I shall overcome!!

You win some ,you lose some-ALWAYS!

Go get a life Psycho!

I see sleep giving me a miss tonight. So ramble a bit I will. Last evening I told myself I would not think too deep about anything and just go with the flow.I told myself I would live each day like there is going to be no tomorrow and not lament over anything at all. I told myself I won’t be upset with anyone or anything and just be thankful for what I have.

Yet when I went for a walk this morning my mind was absolutely restless. What I hate most about walking is that you cannot “not think” while walking!!!! And there's no guarantee that you'll only get positive thoughts!

I didn't have the energy to will myself to think only positive this morning.I tried though(I always do) and ended up being angry instead of sad.I like the angry me better than the sad me,mind you!

The little bit of running that I have enjoyed in the last few years made me realise that running is good for me because I can level out my feelings while running. I am a slave of my mind otherwise-I fight it day in day out.

So I miss running. It’s just over two and a half months that I have not been able to run and I have been lamenting about my silly injury long enough. I have consciously or unconsciously ensured people sympathise with me because I’m grounded just now.

And tonight I feel stupid and petty for lamenting about my injury at all. 

There are so many people with genuine problems, so many who are less blessed than me. I work in a set up, where most of my patients are the poorest of poor. I always use my interactions with them as my sounding board. They make me realise that my life is actually a cake walk.

And yet, at my no longer young age, I am silly enough to lament over something as mundane and ordinary as a running injury! A running injury??? Who cares! I feel embarrassed and petty. Alternately and at the same time.

I’m packing up the topic this very moment-no more talking about my injury. Life goes on and I live on. It’s not like I have races to win, points to prove to anyone  or a career or living to make out of my running. It’s not the end of my life. When I run again in the future, I’ll be happy to be levelling out my mind again. And if I don’t ,I’ll discover something else to make me happy. The possibilities are endless and I’m one lucky woman!

So no more pep talks for me-I am not pepping myself or expecting anyone around me to pep me up over this.I don't categorize this as one of my problems anymore.

Thanks for bearing with me! 

I’m going to go get me a life tomorrow! Hear hear:)