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Buddy and Ishaan! |
When my son was but 4.5 years old, I noticed classic O.C.D
symptoms in him. He would go to the washroom every 5 minutes , he would wash
his hands compulsively and he would have me worried like nobody’s business. I
tried cajoling him and talking him out of it, I scolded him and I felt super
frustrated.
Not relying solely on my own diagnosis, I took him to the
paediatrician and further to the urologist and they ran multiple tests on him
and prescribed medicines and said it could be a urinary tract infection and
they scared me further saying it was uncommon in boys.
I tried telling them in
vain that his washing his hands repeatedly wasn’t normal either. My fears fell
on deaf ears.Doctors, family,everyone thought my concerns were unfounded as long
as he was declared medically fit.
So Google came to my rescue. I read up about Obsessive
Compulsive Disorder.
Symptoms of childhood-onset O.C.D vary widely from
child to child. Some common obsessions experienced by children and adolescents
with O.C.D include:
· exaggerated fears of contamination from contact
with certain people, or everyday items such as clothing, shoes, or schoolbooks
·
excessive doubts that he/she has not locked the
door, shut the window, turned off the lights, or turned off the stove or other
household appliance
·
marked over-concern with the appearance of homework
assignments
· excessive worry about symmetrical arrangement of
everyday objects such as shoelaces, school books, clothes, or food
·
fears of accidentally harming a parent, sibling or
friend
·
superstitious fears that something bad will happen
if a seemingly unconnected behaviour is done (or not done)
·
Compulsive washing, bathing, or showering
· Ritualised behaviours in which the child needs to
touch body parts or perform bodily movements in a specific order or symmetrical
fashion
·
Specific, repeated bedtime rituals that interfere
with normal sleep
·
Compulsive repeating of certain words or prayers to
ensure that bad things don’t occur
·
Compulsive reassurance-seeking from parents or
teachers about not having caused harm
·
Avoidance of situations in which they think
“something bad” might occur
Holy cow! Ishaan had at least 8 of these symptoms.
I knew my baby wasn’t faking anything. He just couldn’t help
doing what he was doing.The next logical step was to find a child psychologist for
him,I guess. But ,after a year and a half of going through this nagging trauma,
I decided on something else first.On the lark, I decided to get a dog home and
see if it helped. I had read somewhere that pet therapy works wonders. And I
wanted to try the magic.
So , Buddy came home one summer day in 2009 . A small
vulnerable little thing,forever hungry for love. He made a mess of the house,he
peed and pooed everywhere till we got him potty trained and he was an absolute
handful.My little one was ecstatic and believe me you,his O.C.D was a thing of
the past in two weeks flat, from the time Buddy arrived home.Dogs and their
loyalty and unquestionable affection to their people is something else. Only folks
who have owned pets and loved them would understand it, I guess!
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Both of them grew fast! |
Buddy grew fast and became an integral part of our lives. My
son doted on him and vice versa.
Last September, without giving us much notice, Buddy left us for
good. He was unwell just for a day and died the next day. He was just 6.5 years
old. My son,now 12 years old, struggled not to show his emotions, was
heartbroken, did not want to be consoled ,did not want me to say anything at
all to try and make him feel better. He told me categorically that nothing
would make him feel better.So I let him be and I let him grieve on his own as I
did so myself too.
Cut to the present. Buddy’s picture and his favourite ball
sit on my son’s study desk and sometimes I still feel he might be around in the house.
Last month, a friend’s friend was looking for someone to
baby sit on their puppy as they were travelling for a month and a half.When the
offer came to me, I asked my son, if he would like to have a pup home
for sometime since his summer break was round the corner and he would
have all the time in the world to care for the pup.He readily agreed and we’ve had Zoe at home for
over a month now.
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Zoe and me |
She is such a cute little ball of fur. She is so delicate, so
naughty and again has the magical powers to make us humans happy. It’s another
thing that I have referred to her as Buddy so many times. But we are in love with her now. Zoe has slept with
us,licked us off,nibbled on all the furniture in the house,has stolen food from
my plate,tried drinking out of my cup and generally made me very very happy. My
son complains that Zoe likes me more . Well, maybe she does.
It’s time for Zoe to leave now. We are preparing ourselves for
the same. I am seriously mulling over getting a pup for us again. I am talking
to my son about it. But the poor kid is not over Buddy yet. He doesn’t want
another dog . He is so torn between his love for Buddy and his desire to have
another pup at home.He is so scared to lose his pet again! I’ll give him his time to decide.
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my baby with Zoe |
As for me, I have already put in a word with people and
friends for a Cocker spaniel pup, I have googled options and places to buy one
and I was almost decided I’ll get one next month.
But last evening,during my run (because that’s when I seem to
have maximum clarity of thought), I decided to postpone getting a pet for now.
It’s scary the way we get attached to things/people/pets so soon. I am not
going to get a pup now as an offset of having Zoe at home for sometime. It was
good to have Zoe around. Like a friend told me, Zoe was ours as long as she
was with us .
Damn! Love and
affection should come with a shelf life maybe. Out of sight should be out of
mind! And healing should be instant. Makes things easier. You hurt less!! If
only things were that easy.
Pet therapy worked wonders for my son and it works great for
me too. Life goes on.
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Happy us! |
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love unlimited |
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Best Buddies! |