I found my mind jumping from
one thought to another today. The news of death of an elder in the family,the
guilt of screaming at my boy in the morning (usual drama on a school day morning),the longish
to do list,the excitement of the trip to the hills tomorrow,the boring
administrative formalities at work and so on!
I want my mind to slow down
,I can’t seem to do it,I just can’t calm it down!
Wandering away thinking of
those guys setting up shop(the cigarette,candy,rusk selling variety)on the
footpath as I crossed them while cycling in the morning!
They were setting it up with so much deliberation and care. I wonder how their
day will go sitting there in the sun trying to make some paltry money to make
ends meet! Will they sleep better after such a hard day’s work or maybe because
their worries are more basic, like food,clothing and shelter?
Wandering away thinking why it’s
easy for me not to begrudge anyone anymore. I no longer struggle with my
prejudices against others. Like they say, I am too busy watering the grass on
my side to notice if the grass is greener on the other side.
I just feel overwhelmed when
I realize the grass on my side IS greener!!I wonder if you know what I mean!
After work, I sat at a prayer
meeting for a senior colleague’s son, who passed away at a young age of 36,
battling cancer. I kept looking at the handsome young man’s picture and
wondered what must be going through the parents’ minds. While I sat there,back
home my father was mourning the loss of his eldest brother.He was 80 years old.
My father is now the oldest of the 4 siblings alive(they were 7).I wonder what
thoughts must be crossing his mind.
I clown around,laugh loudly, make jokes, act
tough(even when I don’t feel so strong at times) and life goes on. It’s so much
easier to let people see what they want,that picture of me that’s easiest to
digest.I don’t complain because I
know if I so much as whisper a complaint,I’ll be judged and criticized. But I
know,for every person who made it big(wuteva-it’s again such a relative
term-making it big!),there are hundreds like me who are hanging on there and
turn nowhere for help,but inward!!!
Wandering away thinking, if
there was a label for each person that told others everything about you,would
it make people much kinder to one another.Would knowing others troubles and
burdens not make us more considerate to them?
I would like my label to say "Psychia-good person,hard worker,trying her best!"
Tomorrow is another day!
P.S-I have no idea what I started
out to ramble,but this rambling does me good!
