I finally put sonny boy in
the school bus this week. All this while, he has had the luxury of sleeping that 30 minutes
extra in the morning and getting back home 30 minutes earlier because he was
chauffeured in my car. I thought he would grumble about it a couple of days at
least-but he’s being quite a sport about it.
Now, I have been on leave
from work the last two weeks and have had the opportunity to spend some real
quality time with him. We have watched movies together, taken long walks
together, talked about all things under the sun-books,"our" insecurities, puberty, sex....you
name it!
I realise how grown up he is
now.
This morning after seeing him
off to school, I went for a very long
walk. All of those two walking hours I spent reminiscing my “ma” journey!
I went back to work 3 months
after he was born, leaving him to the care of two maids .It was a guilt trip
all the while , leaving the tiny soul and going to work. So moment I got back
from work, it would only be momma and baby time!
Every milestone he crossed as a baby was such a big deal- his first word, his first tooth, his first smile, his first step.....
When he went to play school, it was a tough time.
I remember sending his class
teacher a letter the first day-the same one written by Abraham Lincoln to his
son’s teacher when he started school.
It goes like this-
"World take my son by the hand-he starts
school today. It's all going to be strange and new to him for a while, and I
wish you would sort of treat him gently. You see, up to now, he's been king of
the roost. He's been the boss of the backyard. I have always been around to
repair his wounds and I've always been handy to soothe his feelings. But now
things are going to be different. This morning he's going to walk down the
front steps, wave his hand, and start on a great adventure that probably will
include wars and tragedy and sorrow.
To live in this world will require faith and love
and courage. So, World, I wish you would sort of take him by his young hand,
and teach him the things he will have to know. Teach him, but gently, if you
can.
He will have to learn, I know that all men are not
just- that all men are not true. Teach him that for every scoundrel there is a
hero; for every enemy there is a friend. Let him learn early that the bullies
are the easiest people to lick.
Teach him the wonder of books. Give him quiet time
to ponder upon the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun and
flowers on a green hill.
Teach him that it is far more honourable to fail
than to cheat. Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if everyone tells
him they are wrong.
Try to give my son the strength not to follow the
crowd when everyone else is getting on the bandwagon. Teach him to listen to
all men, but to filter all he hears on a screen of truth and to take only the
good that comes through.
Teach him to sell his brawn and brains to the
highest bidders, but never to put a price tag on his heart and soul.
Teach him to close his ears on a howling mob-and to
stand and fight if he thinks he's right.
Teach him gently, World, but don't coddle him,
because only the test of fire makes fine steel.
This is a big order, World, but see what you can
do. He's such a nice little fellow."
I still get goose bumps when
I read Lincoln’s letter .Somehow it touched a chord with his young teachers
too.
He was treated like royalty
in his play school and that short span in play school did wonders to his
confidence. I remember one of his teachers, Shuvinder, with whom I had lost
touch by then, pleasantly surprised me by calling up on his 7th
birthday to wish him and said she always remembered his birthday. And when I put
sonny boy on the phone, he only responded in monosyllables and Shuvinder said
she was good with so much because she remembered he always spoke very less. That
was how much love he got from his teachers in play school.
Then suddenly big school
happened. That very year, they changed entry level to big school(nursery) from 4 years to 3 years.
So I was more unprepared than
him for that sudden preponement. But big school it was.
Now, in big school, he
got this real stern lady for his class teacher and my introvert kiddo started
hiding in his shell further.
After a few months, I was asked to see the child
counsellor and told he was a slow learner. I was surprised because I spent a
lot of time with him and knew his grasp of things was perfectly normal.
However,
on the school’s advice, I remember spending a day in class with him, because
his class teacher wanted me to see for myself how he lagged behind in class.
That
day as I sat next to him, he felt reassured and there was not one thing that he
didn’t get right in class. I rested my case hence with the teacher . Mommy win!
Sweeter than the biggest victory.
He was choosy in the friends
he made and remained a lad of few words .It took a couple more years and an
angel of a sweet class teacher in 2nd grade ,to make him open up bit
by bit.
The first time I was told in
a Parent Teacher Meeting that he is not paying attention in class or keeps talking in class, it was
like a battle won for me. I would be so happy to hear the teacher complain.
The mommy journey is not all
rosy like all mommies know. The times he has been unwell, the times when I just
could not drive home my point, the many many times I have lost my cool.......and
so forth! But I don’t want to dwell upon those times.
I only regret the times I
have vent out my frustration about other things by yelling at him because I
have taken him for granted, like I own him.
I hope he will be able to
erase those memories and love me always like he does today.
From the little toddler , he
is now grown enough to tell me to cross the road carefully, to be careful about
my running so that my injury doesn't flare up again, to remind me to take my
medicines, to correct my pronunciation.
It’s been a wondrous journey!!
Sometimes when I barge upon
his thoughts and am able to correctly guess what he’s thinking, we both
smile!!We call it the umbilical cord connect J
He still speaks very little
with other grown ups and takes time to open up with people. But my kiddo talks a
lot with me...I know he is more mature for his years and I always selfishly
hope he’ll find time even when he is an adult to share and talk about things with me.
I know so many times he does
things just to make me happy. I don’t know how long I’ll
remain this all important person in his life.
I know things will change
every day as he grows up.I just hope I can be a good mommy as long as I live.
By the way, my sonny boy is
12 years, 3 months and 27 days old today J
He is the world's bestest son and I would like to believe Ma Psychia is the...
He is the world's bestest son and I would like to believe Ma Psychia is the...
