Calm

Last evening I was wondering how I felt so calm and peaceful. My mind seemed rested,my thoughts didn’t drift ,I didn’t feel bad or sad about anything. It was eerie;)

I thought I should quickly pen down the calm and capture it for good!!!

But somehow I did not get around to doing that.And here I am now!

What peace ? What calm?I am back in my world.Last evening was just the calm before the storm apparently-in my head!

This morning I walked some 10kms in a park after dropping sonny boy off to school.Walking 10kms takes some time-enough time for your mind to wander far far away. I beat myself up endlessly again.I don’t like it.

Its the weekend dammit.I told myself by the end of my walk that I would be a good girl. On way back home I bought myself a flower. Even decided to buy me a red Dahlia,

deviating from my colour of choice-yellow!I told myself  I won’t let no colour rule my mood.Weirdo!

So many silly thoughts in my mind.Overlapping,criss-crossing,pushing each other,running out of space,driving me nuts.Too much clutter.Aaargh!

I want time off.I want time out.

My thoughts are supposed to be my  sanctuary-not the bane of my existence.I am not supposed to be ruled by them.I want closure on the stressful thoughts.I want an emotional holiday.I want that peace and calm from last evening back!

I am a woman with small needs!

Everyone say amen pleaseJ