Saturday, 9 April 2016

Egoistic me

Yes, I am egoistic. I put my needs before those of others. I do believe self interest inspires every human action-yes, even feeding that poor hungry child on the road. I know, when I go and give my old clothes to the poor and homeless or feed a few of them every once in a while, I do nothing to better their lives. I do nothing for the betterment of humanity. But, I do feel good about it for some time. So, basically I do it for myself. So, I am egoistic! And it’s okay. If I don’t feel good about myself, I will accomplish nothing any ways. So, all is well!

Here’s one side of the coin. I know my ego is here to stay. I will feel bad over petty things, thanks to my ego. I will always think I deserve better,I will always feel bad if my friends and family don’t understand things from my perspective. I am too ordinary to think I will attain higher enlightenment in this lifetime. People will judge me whether I like it or not. They’ll criticise my actions without knowing half my story. And I will feel bad about these things. I have to learn to use my ego to my advantage and be happy. I don’t want to free myself of my ego.

My ego is merely the evidence of my fragility. If I didn't have an ego, I wouldn't feel bad if someone yelled at me, my feelings wouldn't be hurt by rejection, I wouldn't wish for any tender love and care from anyone. I wouldn't wish to be treated thoughtfully –like I am some important being who matters. I wouldn't even despair if my plans didn't fall into place. Basically, I would become superhuman!

But here’s the other side of the coin. I have an ego of considerable size - yes. You could also call it a measure of my self esteem. My ego is my pride. My ego helps me to not go all downhill. I wouldn't mind a bigger ego really. It would help me win some more battles in life, I believe. Don’t you think all champions and winners have big egos? Why would they want to win all the time otherwise? How can you compete and win without an ego? I do believe the desire to win at all costs is what drives champions. Because, losing is not acceptable to them. Losing is too damaging to their egos. I wish I had an ego of a champion. A champion ego!!!
In your fight to excel and to be the best, you and your ego have to conspire and join hands. Would that mean winners have no humility? I don’t think so. You just have to nurture the positive ego and keep a check on the part of your ego that behaves like an immature child. You just have to strike that balance.

I only recently learnt the word braggadocio. It means  ‘boastful or arrogant behaviour’. So being a braggadocio, being arrogant, being an empty boaster and bragging on is not the same as being egoistic.

I am not a braggadocio. But I don’t want to be a loser either. I don’t want to be happy coming 10th among 10 in anything. I need to keep trying to get better and keep climbing the ladder of my self esteem. It’s all up to me.

So I am keeping my ego-as a measure of my fragility and as a measure of my self esteem. I like to be as human (e) as possible!



7 comments:

Marathonman said...

Ego is a means for improvement. It should not be used all the time because all fights are not to be won and can't be won. We lose more fights in life than we win. So if you move the ego to the forefront of every fight then it'll keep getting damaged without adequate healing. The ego soldier should march at your command only when needed. Losing sometimes is ok. Win big ;-)

psychia said...

Thanks Aman!I hear you:)

Shukla said...

That's a story of a Sangeeta I do not know, and frankly, do not agree with. You are neither the immature egoist that you say you are, nor are you built of the soft stuff that "will always feel bad if my friends and family don’t understand things from my perspective".

Besides, I also think one chooses whether one's ego is the result of the victories amassed, or the victories are the result of the gargantuan egos. Mike Tyson immediately comes up as an example of the latter.

And you, dear Psychia, don't even qualify to claim that you have any space in your large heart for ego. You help people because you empathize with them. Yet, you push yourself because you can't imagine a life without challenges.

Yes, of course you occasionally may like to show off your trophies; who doesn't.
But I also know you put sleepless nights into ensuring that people can go run without bothering about their tees, or their teams, or even their "busy" lives.

You are a gem of a rare find Psychia, and I can't grant you anything else, even if you claim otherwise in your writings.

psychia said...

Too kind of you pal! Thank you!

Bikash Saikia said...

Yes I agree with the last line of the unknown pal above.
If that makes you feel better be egoistic.. always. That actually helps a lot. I love you for the way you blog so sincerely about your feelings. God bless!!
Father

Vishal Sethi said...

Reading your article was like hearing my own thoughts...Way you beautifully articulated your thought process like " nurture the positive ego and keep a check on the part of your ego that behaves like an immature child" or this new word "braggadocio" or all that real vulnerability which is there in all of us...Loved every part of it...Keep it up Sangy! :)

psychia said...

Thanks for reading Vishal!