Imperfectly perfect!

Life can play all sorts of games with us without us even knowing. Maybe destiny is underrated. Maybe what’s happening in our lives was planned from before and just maybe the best way to be in peace is to accept things rather than being a refrained recipient.

I know I am just an imperfect girl still trying to fit into an imperfect world. There are things that are beyond my control. Come to think of it, what IS under my control? My own attitude is probably all I can try to control. Positive thoughts, self discipline, self restraint, self belief. I can only change myself really. So clichéd!

Seriously, I can sow a seed, water it, add some fertilizers, and even plough the field-but I have to wait patiently for the fruits and flowers to grow. I cannot force sunlight to shine brighter or turn the direction of the winds and rain. There is only so much I can do. Tell me something new !

Perfection really is too lofty a goal to reach. I am mostly reconciled to being imperfect. I just want to respect and indulge in all the imperfections around me. Rather, all that I think is imperfect. All around me I see that success really is measured by materialistic things you have , the recognition you have in society and the easiest thing to do is succumb to the mirage of perfection. There is no Utopia. Why then should I beat myself up everyday seeking what does not exist at all? So many times in a single day, why do I let my perception of perfection rob the very potential for joy that I have in my life.

I am getting older every day. Time is flying past me. Days at end, I still feel empty inside and am forever looking for something to lift my spirits. Sometimes, I wonder if the trivial chores that I run around doing on a daily basis, aren't they also supposed to balance out the complicated and painful thoughts that haunt me ever so often. Am I not to be grateful for the mundane too, then? Yes, I am. I guess I am supposed to be grateful for everything in my life-the good, the bad and the ugly. If I did not learn the right lesson from each life experience, who can I blame for that but yours truly?

I have to learn to be content living this anonymous life. (Yeah, you know my name, you know how I look, but do you think you really know me?)I remember when I was a kid, I actually believed that the moon followed us everywhere. It was such a great feeling. Somewhere along the line, life just got too darned complicated.

I know this is as random as it can get. I was supposed to be out running with friends just now. But sonny boy is feeling under the weather. He looked at me imploringly with his puppy dog eyes and asked me  to stay. So I did. And now he’s fast asleep . Brat!

Here I am-rambling on. Thank heavens it’s time to get to work now. Working on Saturdays ain't that bad!