Wednesday, 2 December 2015

Savouring the NOW

I want to learn to savour life. The present.I want to make the most of my time on this planet.
The only way I can do it is by losing track of my time here! Paradoxical ,yes!

I yearn for a somewhat elusive state of existence. I know I cannot will myself to love, to be happy or to sleep.The most I can do is set the stage, create the right ambience to fall in love, to be happy or to sleep.

My “monkey mind" jumps from thought to thought. I know,at the core of anything in life there is a paradox. Letting go of what I want is the only way to get it. Simple is so complicated! Phew!

"Buddha described the human mind as being filled with drunken monkeys, jumping around, screeching, chattering, carrying on endlessly. We all have monkey minds, Buddha said, with dozens of monkeys all clamouring for attention. Fear is an especially loud monkey, sounding the alarm incessantly, pointing out all the things we should be wary of and everything that could go wrong."


So as I sit idle this afternoon and let my mind wander yet again, I tell myself I want to stop this constant process of self-evaluation and this habit of getting lost in my mind. Because ,in my mind is where I make those critical evaluations that beat me up.

I want to live in the present. NOW. I don't want to think of the better coffee I had somewhere else while I'm sipping this coffee now.This coffee is good .Its all I need just now. The “Marie” biscuit I nibble on is good too and I quite like it. I don't care if I run out of this coffee or biscuit tomorrow. I have it here now and I like that.How profound :)

My thoughts are just  that- thoughts. Do I necessarily have to believe in them or do just as my thoughts say? Nope!

Have you ever zoned out? Like , I read a page in a book at times and I know I read every word on that page, but I have no idea, what it said. I tell the house-help to, say,fetch my laptop and he comes back with my phone, because I had actually told him to get the phone. That's only because, so many times, I am mindless to what I am doing at that moment.

Now, I want these blackouts to cease. I don't want life passing me by without registering on me. I want to see the world with fresh eyes(I am myopic as well as hypermetropic, by the way:)).

No, no---no eye surgery for me! I just want to savour even the realisation that almost everything is different each time- the way my son says good morning to me every day, the pattern of light on the buildings, the colour of the leaves on the plants in my house, the faces of people, even the feelings I experience along the way .

I want to develop my "beginner’s mind”.

“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few.”

And mind you,this is not my future goal.

I am just making a conscious decision to pay attention to what’s happening at the present moment, become aware of the fact that I am breathing now. I am ALIVE just now! I am here. This is it. I am here. Nothing happens next. I am here.This is it. My destination is not tomorrow,it is  NOW!




2 comments:

Unknown said...

Awesome! A great state of mind to be in! Keep it flowing Sangeeta!

Bikash Saikia said...

That's lovely! Keep it up. Love you.
Deta